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Enjoy Yourself Tonight (Pt. 1498)
The Consequences of Consistency
My lifestyle has been known as very consistent. When I like a certain consistency, I will stick with it for a long time.
I had been using a very old computer for over 8 years before it did not work anymore. I have been using the same binder from 6th grade to now. I have been playing the same online game for few years. I have been continuing DWI Extreme for over half a decade. I have been studying up to college, and I can see myself continue studying. And obviously, I am continuing "Enjoy Yourself Tonight" journal entries up to the 1498th entry right now.
There are two consequences with my habit of consistency.
One consequence, which I have been told a lot by others, is that my consistency and my patience cause me to become an over-achiever. I don't mind playing the same online game for a long time until I get tired of it, I don't mind continuing DWI Extreme while it is already the longest and most active series on Earth. And if I ever have the money to do so, I really don't mind studying for two Ph.D degrees, even if I am still in college when I am forty years old.
Another consequence, which I have been telling a lot to others, especially to the artistic friends who I recently met, is that my consistency and my patience are not able to let myself make any revolutional changes. If things are suddenly out of order, my mind will go crazy. If things are not processed in a systematic way, my mind will go crazy. Of course, there are always changes in life. Instead of handling revolutional changes, I can handle evolutional changes. I prefer evolution instead of revolution.
With me being out of the undergraduate life, there will be many evolutional changes. |
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Enjoy Yourself Tonight (Pt. 1497)
The Artistic Gift
Some say that my thoughts are logical and scientific: every effect has a cause, and everything has to be a reason behind it. There was a moment in my life when I felt uncomfortable for not having any applicable artistic aspects in my life, while most of my surrounding friends have tons of it.
I was reminded yesterday by a friend that I actually have an artistic instinct, but it was never applied in my life, nor I did not have an opportunity to expand this instinct throughout my childhood.
My friend reminded me about this when I was sitting near his electronic piano and talking about reading music charts and keys. While he has been playing piano for years, he notices something about the piano that I am able to naturally do:
- After listening to any song on a radio, I am able to find the notes on the piano and replay it again along with the bass.
- If I remember a song in my head, I am able to find the notes on the piano and play it. I have done that in the past with the classic piece Turkish Marching (or Turkey March, etc..).
- After listening to any song, I am able to resing the vocal in the correct key as well as the note for any vocal scatting.
- After listening to any song, I can determine in my head the key / pitch that the song is in (A ~ G, including sharp/flat). Hence, I am able to do mash-up remixes.
I have never had any piano lesson in my life, and I wish to learn it in the future. |
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Between ignoring drunk calls from my mother (which has lately resulted in voicemails like "Your cousin's kids are the ugliest things ever" at 1 am), Adam not being here, and all my extended family doing their own wife/kids get togethers and never remembering that I exist anyway, my Christmas is going to consist of me sitting at home by myself doing nothing. I hate going to other people's family Christmas get togethers because I feel like a HUGE 5th wheel, and I no longer have the same pack of orphan friends that I used to do the holidays for all the time. So no dinners, no opening presents, de nada.
uuuuuuuugh, I just want the holiday season over with, already. It's depressing as hell to spend it alone |
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For those of you who have asked what I want for Christmas or as a Christmas/BDay present (the bane of all Saggitariuses - the combined bday/xmas!), pretty much everything is on my Amazon Wishlist, from little stuff to big stuff that I know I'm not going to get, lol. But yeah, use that.
Also, thanks to the person who sent me the graphic novels (I don't name names to preserve privacy). I NEEEEEDED the next installment on all of those. <3 |
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Adam freezing his butt off in the snow in North Carolina earlier today. He has that look that a shivering puppy would give you when you finally realized that you forgot to let him in during a storm. Sort of an abject misery/don't-you-feel-guilty/come-cuddle-me thing. /molest /molest /molest
Doesn't he look like an overgrown boy? It's kind of weird to think that he's turning 30 on Sunday. |
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The more I talk to people about their relationships, the more I realize that I do not want to go down the same path with mine. I don't want anything to be on the down low. I don't want either of us to keep a stable of possible future booty calls for those just-in-case moments where we can justify fucking someone else on a technicality. I don't want to waste time, say things we don't mean because we feel like we have to, or feel needed in that bad, codependent way. I don't want to kiss without meaning or fuck without feeling. I want to do things differently for once.
After Mark and David I pretty much hated anything with a dick. Unfortunately I am rabidly heterosexual, so despite my misanthropy at the end of the day I still love cock. Fuck. I did by best to meet myself in the middle by rocking the sexual bulimia to great effect: binge and purge, baby! Although I spent years being the faithful anti-slut (despite occasional accusations of the opposite), when I decided to play the field I did so with great voracity and made an art form out of bragging about all the hot ass I bagged and snuck out on the next morning. It was mostly fun and I have some hilarious stories, hot memories, epic blog posts and a clean bill of health, so at the end of the day...wtfever. However, being a player isn't really my thing anymore even if I used to be of rather infamous "evil manipulative nymphomaniac" status at one point. "With great tits comes great responsibility", "when you look into my vagina, my vagina also looks into you" and so on and so forth. Thankfully I outgrew most of that stuff (except the tits) and developed a somewhat stunted but nevertheless present conscience (in relationships - when I'm single the world is my oyster and I likewise swallow it raw and with a shot of vodka).
I have made pretty much every single mistake that there is to be made where love between two people is concerned. I've had just about every insane high and heartrending low. I've had someone die, I've been married and divorced, engaged several times, betrayed, cheated on, loved to the exclusion of all else and have probably heard every bullshit promise and lie ever whispered. Sometimes I wonder what the hell there is left to experience that is actually worth experiencing...different places, different faces? Oh wait...making something happily last more than a year or two, that'd be kinda new! Yeah. So, see all these eggs? This is me putting them in one basket. Let the chips fall where they may. If it fails, billionth time's a charm, maybe.
And if he fucks me over, there is always homicide. :D |
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buh.
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Dec. 11th, 2009 @ 10:44 pm
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I am done with drinking and being social for at least a couple of weeks. All I want to do is play video games and read comic books and pet my cats because I have been doing nothing but drinking and going out since a few days before my birthday, and I'm normally a bit of a hermit. My throat is all raw from all the screaming over loud music that I've been doing. Pouring vodka on it on a regular basis didn't help much, either.
Highlights:
Oh sure. Let's do shots. Great idea.
I'm beginning to notice that all of my female friends are utterly gorgeous.
I am so tired of booze.
...those statements are in no way related. |
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